During these unusual and uncertain times, I feel incredibly fortunate that not only am I still working, but am also still able to go to the yard and look after Skye,  doing work with him in hand and lungeing - even if, for the moment, I am not riding. With the internationals that I had vaguely pencilled in all cancelled, and no idea when we will be able to start training again with Andrew J Murphy, this unprecedented hiatus is a very odd feeling. 

It struck me recently that for the past 14 years or more, I have constantly been aiming for and working towards a major competition. As soon as one was over, plans immediately began for the next one and so on. Sometimes it seemed impossible - when I didn't have a horse; sometimes it was impossible - when I didn't have enough rankings list points  and always -  never enough money! All the training, planning, organising, emails, competing,  logistics, more planning, more training - liaising with Regine in the VI while burning the midnight oil, and never quite enough time for it all to feel totally under control and yet most of the time coming right at the 11th hour.
It has put a lot of pressure on me. Actually - the truth is - I have put a lot of pressure on me! 

But I love it and would do it all again tomorrow in a heartbeat!

Still - I am sure I am not the only one who has recently taken a step back from our personal hamster wheels we have been living in and considered how we can make it better when we gradually regain some of our freedom. Dare I say it...retaining the positive aspects of lockdown life even? Slowing down a bit and having time - time to contact all our friends, time to read, time to be more observant, time to do all the things that you never normally have time for!! Of course I'm talking about the things you want to do - not spring cleaning the garage kind of things!!  Important things!! 

The work I have been doing with Skye in hand  - and bearing in mind it is fairly simple as I am learning too - has made a noticeable improvement in his edginess. It is as though he has taken a deep breath, relaxed his shoulders and his jaw (as my pilates teacher always reminds us!)  and decided that he does not constantly have to do an impression of a blue arsed fly or stay forever on high alert for the sudden appearance of the Horse Catcher! He seems more chilled and I can't wait to start riding and training again to test his new found Zen! 

As I said in last month's blog - discovering what was causing Skye's discomfort was no easy task. Mine on the other hand was simple when I finally persuaded them to give me an MRI. The result confirmed that - as well as fracturing my pelvis in my fall last June -  I had also fractured two vertebrae!!  Wedge fractures caused by trauma which are still healing. This explains a lot, not least of which my sudden loss of height - 1 and a half inches no less! Ever since day one and for the past 9+ months I tried to tell them that my back is the problem.. the pelvis more of an inconvenience which has long since disappeared - but no one would listen... grrrr! 
 
SO... I am now on a mission consisting of 'better late than never' exercises to get my back moving again - all the exercises I was previously advised to avoid.  They say I can't do any damage and to just work through the pain - I hope it works.  The positive part of this though is.. I now have a plan.  And who doesn't love a plan!! 

Stay well everyone and I look forward to us all coming through these tough times to laugh, ride, sing and dance together again!!  Cheers my friends. xxx

Hard to believe it was one year ago that this little chap - full of character with a dash of attitude - and I started our journey together!
It has not exactly gone to plan....
Well, the first three months went brilliantly and then I came off. With one thing and another we haven't managed to get completely back on track since. I am still suffering with my back from the fall despite my pelvis healing a long time ago. After endless physio appointments, many sessions at the back clinic and finally a referral, at last I have an MRI scan booked which I hope will answer some questions.
The weather this winter hasn't helped either of course but I think we did quite well to carry on through the dark rainy months with our training with Andrew J Murphy and fitness work. I was excited to be planning a trip to Holland in January to compete at the lovely Genemuiden CPEDI3* venue but just 10 days before we were due to catch the ferry, Skye showed signs of discomfort.  It wasn't immediately obvious where that was coming from so Holland had to be scrapped. 
And now it feels like we have drifted through February and into March, all the while looking for an explanation of why Skye "just wasn't quite right".  He wasn't lame...
Of course, first we eliminated all the obvious possibilities, and then the more obscure.  He had some physio, some time off, some more investigations, some more physio. The vets have narrowed it down to his poll area and now he is having laser treatment! 
Back in January my plan B was to go to Waregem, Belgium in April. It is a lovely well organised show and an easy journey from Calais. Sadly Skye has lost too much time in work now to be able to make that trip and the disruptions being caused by the Coronavirus will most probably see the competition cancelled due to the increased travel restrictions being imposed daily.  
So no plan C for now... just to get Skye fit again and take each day as it comes. The weather is reluctantly improving and the days are very definitely getting longer.. the clocks go back soon and spring must surely be just around the corner?
Hopefully we will soon be back on that journey together!!

..... and something tells me it's far from over yet!! These shots from our training sessions in December epitomise the conditions we've mostly all had to endure so far this winter with just a few exceptions.  Still we have been working hard and Skye is improving with every session. More self carriage, more suspension, more uphill and more confidence!!

We went to an unaffiliated dressage competition on New Years Day for a little outing  at a venue new to both of us. Skye went into the warm up arena doing a very good impression of a fire eating dragon that meant everyone gave us a wide berth at first.  I insisted that he steadied his walk, incorporated lateral work and he then settled into the work.  With the familiar slow systematic movements that we use at the start of  all our schooling  sessions, he could focus on me and start to relax.  In the first elementary test I felt a bit ring rusty and our accuracy was not 100% but a much improved medium test followed which I was very pleased about. A red and blue rosette and a box of chocolates for the drive home was a good way to start the New Year!! 

I am gradually learning ( I hope) how to manage his stress head moments when he wants to rush off and march along as fast as he can which just winds himself up....  encouraging him to slow right down and make every step deliberate  - he then starts to feel happier in his own skin....  (Remind me how have I landed with another adrenalin junkie aka Brodie??) 

This is definitely work in progress with this little chap!!  ... bring on 2020!!
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Reflections on Keysoe.....
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​Keysoe CPEDI3* at the very end of September was physically a big challenge with my back still not fully recovered  but oddly enough mentally I felt  quite calm about the competition.  The long days with arena walks at 7 a.m. and competing at 7:30 p.m. meant that my back was very tired and certainly not at its strongest riding by the end of the day. Following my last training session with Andrew J Murphy,  I had a plan on  how I needed to ride him.  It didn’t quite work out on the second day -  I think I overcooked the warm up a bit  - all part of the learning curve with a new horse!  And then that unfortunate spook which wasn’t really his fault because he hadn’t been spooky in the arena up to then but as a result he became very tense before we even entered at A!  Some added ‘excitement' for many  was the drug testing team approaching us following our tests…a new experience for me - I guess I have been lucky that this was the first time I got 'chosen'! 

Despite not getting the results I hoped - although in the team test we got some very good marks from three of the judges with the other two bringing down the overall percentage (still cannot understand a difference of 8% between judges?)…. I don’t regret going as it gave me the chance to see how Skye would react in the atmosphere which was buzzing by the time we competed in the evenings. He was a sweet & easy horse to do,  loved the fuss and attention being made - not so straightforward to lunge as hidden noises brought out his black dragon side, but leading around and hand grazing  on the verge of the road he was very easy and I feel it was good experience overall. He ate lots, drank lots, didn't stress about anything - horses coming and going - he just wanted to see it all.  Very positive & good to know for the future!! 

Having been away from the international scene so far this year, it was great meeting up with friends that I haven’t seen for a while - always one of the joys of these shows when you get together with people you only meet at these competitions. 

The Irish team were fab and gave me loads  of offers of help with Skye, knowing I was on my own and struggling a bit with my back. Trotting Skye up at the vets inspection, plaiting his spiky mane and watching my tests  -  it was really great to have their support. Shout out to team Ireland who had a fab show with fantastic results! 

Bringing it all right up to date now…  

After Keysoe we had a bit of down time as I finally caught the bug that was doing the rounds and felt quite rough for a week or so.  But we soon got back into the routine and a couple of weeks later had a fantastic weekend training session with Andrew at Park Farm. I was then fortunate enough to get a coveted place on the 2 day clinic being held at East Whipley Farm - former home of the Training theTeachers of Tomorrow Trust.  The history of the venue was not lost on us and I thoroughly enjoyed the two days riding, observing other sessions and having a very interesting lecture thrown in!  The additional training was immensely important in continuing to rebuild our confidence which is still a bit shaky. But looking forward now…. and exciting times ahead!!  
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You may be wondering what 's been happening in the past three months... 

Who would have guessed that just a week after my successful weekend competing at Brendon Stud I would be in hospital having a CT scan following a fall from Skye while schooling at home... certainly not me!!
I was very pleased with my schooling session that Saturday morning but nearing the end I have to admit that I took my eye off the ball. A cyclist or walker on the track alongside the school  - heard but not seen through the thick hedge - was enough to  send Skye into orbit. I might have sat the disturbance if I had been fully in the moment - sadly I hit the deck... hard!  
A fractured pelvis and considerable muscular skeletal damage to my lower back was the verdict and I went home on crutches with the advice to "go back to pilates before you get back on a horse!"  Six weeks on I heeded their advice.. did my exercises in the meantime but also had the chance to ride Trojan - the mechanical horse at Wildwoods, with Sarah Sjoholm-Patience, during that time. It was a great boost to my confidence and reassuring to know that the motion of the horse was almost a kind of massage to my painful back! I can't say it was exactly comfortable at the time but the next day I felt so much better!! 
It took way longer than I expected - and hoped - before I got back on Skye. Those extra weeks & days were very frustrating but probably the right decision in the long run.
When I finally got onboard, I gradually increased my riding time - hacking Skye for over a week to build up my strength and ease my back gently into it again... Skye had been kept ticking over while I was off so he was fit and ready to go!  I then introduced short schooling sessions to the hacking, with the aim of making my originally planned training date with Andrew J Murphy over the weekend of the 7/8 September. 
Pleased to say the weekend went very well! Everything went to plan under the circumstances with thanks to Andrew's reassuring training sessions, I felt that we were heading back into a similar groove where we left off after our last training sessions in June... and we had built a few bridges to our trust in each other again. 
And so on Sunday, our next step was to go to a local unaffiliated competition as another outing. It was a hot and sunny day which I was thankful for.  I disappointed myself though by being rather defensive in the first test but pulled myself together and was more positive in the medium & so ended the day on a much happier note. Another box ticked! 
But....  I do have a hidden agenda - to make it to Keysoe CPEDI3* in 2 short weeks time! 

I really could not even be contemplating this if it had not been for all the help and support I have had these past months - not only with my own recovery but especially looking after Skye!  Huge thanks goes to friends who took responsibility for looking after his wellbeing until I was well enough to gradually start doing a bit at the yard - I think you know who you are!  Big hug!! xx

 The past couple of months have flown by with lots of things to sort out... first and foremost my saddle!! Thanks to Ellie Martin of Bespoke Saddles and Gill Maybury Chiropractor, Skye has a comfortable saddle and a back that is no longer sore!! We have also had some really fantastic training sessions with Andrew J Murphy - when Skye has shown us not only the WOW factor but also his explosive side... he is now known as Mr Dynamite!! 

Last weekend I felt we really turned a corner in our training... it is very early days and we are still getting to know each other but - despite the hideous weather - we definitely took it to a new level.  We are all very excited for the future!! 

With Hartpury looming, I entered Pyecombe 2 day dressage competition this weekend - virtually 3 months to the day since I got Skye!  I opted for a couple of Elementaries in the unaffiliated sections each day to relieve any pressure of the results going on Skye's BD record... (O ye of little faith!)  On Friday I was really pleased with his overall attitude going to a new venue & dealing with the ever present windy conditions. The first test went well... I deliberately kept it low key to gauge whether he would stay relaxed in the arena.  His only 'moment' came when the judge beeped her horn to start the test & he leapt into the air but when we entered the arena he got on with the job! With only a few minutes between tests I was concerned I would go wrong in the next.. a negative mindset - big mistake! I did go wrong!!  A few mis-signals but there was lots to like and I was very pleased with him.

To my amazement we won both sections! It was a complete shock -  I saw others having difficulty with their horses in the blustery conditions - so that was a double gold star for Skye! 

Saturday - forecast was meant to be fine... and it was to start with.  My plan was to step up a gear and put a bit more "chilli in the mix"... Andrew's well known phrase!  To that end I had a friend read the tests so I had no worries about losing my way (pathetic I know but I am a bit ring rusty after 9 months!!).  The first test went so well...  more power and very accurate. We had  over an hour between tests this time so Skye went back in the lorry to chill. And then the rain came!  It was really blustery weather when we got him back out and he was a bit wired with the horses in the lorry next to us creating merry havoc kicking their box to pieces! Getting on was tricky but thanks to Angela and Rachel we got him away from the commotion and once I was on he was fine.  The second test was even better so I left the arena very pleased,  regardless of the results.  Imagine my utter surprise when we got another 2 red rosettes! The object of the day was primarily to improve on the day before (one different test and one a repeat) and that we well and truly did! 

To ride four tests with four different judges - all giving constructive criticism and positive comments - is hugely appreciated - full marks to the organisers at Brendon Pyecombe! 

BUT this only happens in your dreams...  right??  

Such a positive start!!  Hartpury is now only 2 weeks away and it will be a big ask for this little chap but feel it will be a good experience for him and help to cement our partnership!  We have lots to work on going forward -  there is so much more to come -  no pressure just little steps... 

 … that is how I have felt these past 6 months or so since WEG. It has been a real struggle. As if the disappointment of the competition wasn’t bad enough at the time, when I came home I was faced with an unbelievable situation. Thankfully that's all over now -  am confining that to history and chalking up yet another one of life’s lessons, although I have to admit that for a long time I felt it was one big fat signal telling me that I should just give up!

But I could not ignore the nagging at the back of my mind...  that I basically really missed not having a horse to ride and train. I have been going to Kent to ride Rhapsody once a week which I thoroughly enjoyed (and still do!)  – and hacked out with a friend a bit through the winter – but it didn’t fill the gap.  I will admit that I didn’t miss the cold, dark, wet early winter mornings of course but…


Then - by a twist of fate this little horse came along!  Skye is super sweet and I am really looking forward to training with Andrew J Murphy again! The pressure – albeit self inflicted – has been fairly non stop for the past 9 years or more and it will be nice to have some fun and see where we can take him. I am so thankful for the encouragement and support from friends on this rollercoaster journey!   Happily Skye has settled in really well to his new home and routine and is just a thoroughly nice guy... a bit cheeky but he is half pony after all!!  Keep tuned for the next instalment....

I guess it's time to dive back into the big sea!  

​I can’t leave out just how much riding Rhaps has kept me going through the winter.  He is such a fun horse to ride and always brings a smile to my face!   For those who still follow USVI Rhapsody’s FB page you will know that he is now enjoying his life as an "elder statesman" in Kent – I think that should be his new hashtag!!   Suzanne has taken him to a couple of off site training clinics where he lapped up all the attention and had his ‘look at me’ hat on again!

​It brought a tear to my eye seeing them going so well together, with Rhapsody thoroughly enjoying himself and showing off to the spectators!! Am thrilled he will be making the journey to Dovecot Stables next month with Suzanne for more 

​I couldn’t have wished for a better life for him in his 21st year! 

I don’t really want to write a nitty gritty round up of the past year - it has been a real rollercoaster and all been documented before -  but instead to remember  my personal positives to take forward…

Taking a month off (after being made redundant) cruising with my daughter.....   Spending time with my dad and brothers in the VI and seeing long lost friends & family in NY….  Back home getting to grips with all things WEG – entries/accommodation/logistics/feed/transport…. Training and competing the lovely Panta who I so enjoyed riding….  Participating in a fantastic fund raising lecture demo with Andrew Murphy and 3 other guinea pigs including Suzanne and Rhapsody who just loved being back in the lime light!....  Experiencing what it's like to fly a horse to the USA…..  And finally being a part of the World Equestrian Games drama which may have been the last in its present form?
Oh... and I got a fab new job - YAY!! 

There have been many lessons learned on both a riding and personal level. Recently I have learned that I really don't like not having a horse to get up for  - these past 3 months have been a huge change for me! 

All we can do is  'kick on' and see what 2019 brings us... hopefully more good memories with family and friends... new challenges...  new experiences.... and no doubt more lessons learned!  
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Happy New Year everyone!!! xxx

Monday 17th - Panta and the others had been at WEG a week and now it was trot up day - the vet check.  Angela was up early to walk Panta and get him ready -  he looked fab when Andrew took him out for the judges to see - no worries there! So we then had time to not only take him for another short schooling session but also watch the delayed showing jumping final of the three day event with a nail biting finish! 
Not sure how much was reported on the controversy of the groom's accommodation but Angela was one of the 'lucky' ones - she did not end up in the military tent with 39 others and no air conditioning but was able to share a basic "shed" with an Italian vaulting groom. At least the shed was on site, had air conditioning and its own little bathroom...  and not 40 minutes away as some of the grooms were shuttled off to hotels with very unsatisfactory shuttle timetables.  There were only about 80 of them... the maths didn't add  up.  But the food tent that was the nearest to us was great - I hate to make comparisons with Caen and this will be my only one - but the food quality and selection was soooooo much better in Tryon. So much fresh salad as well as hot meals - there was plenty of choice! I never actually made it to the other food tent which was miles away and had to close when the rains came! But our local tent was just great!!
​And so on to our competition day... it was hot! It was very exciting that Jan Robinson from St Thomas was in NC at the time, while her house in the USVI  is being rebuilt after the hurricane last year and was able to come and watch and cheer us on!! So nice to have another island supporter!   
Everything went to plan - preparations - warm up - 10 minute box. I rode into the arena feeling that I knew what I had to do. No nerves exactly - just a purposeful resolve to ride the horse I had in the arena through the movements. In that respect I felt I had conquered a huge hurdle.
The test was not the one we worked for, trained for, hoped for  - but horses are not machines and dear Panta got worried after a stumble/spook/whatever and was difficult to get back onside when he got buzzed up. For my part I felt that I did not panic or tense up or loose my brain as has happened in the past but instead continued to ride him irrespective of what he did. So we finished the test - not our best effort but we gave it our best shot!
The para dressage competition was full of dramas that week and there were others just as disappointed or more so. My team were so sympathetic and just pleased that under the circumstances we completed the test... although that is no consolation really - as much as I appreciated their support - we had all put so much into getting to WEG!!  But I had to remind myself - we had gotten to WEG when many many times over the past 18 months it looked impossible... and so many riders would have given anything to be there!! The media were very interested in my story and all about the islands after the hurricanes last year - so much so that everyone wondered where I got lost to after my test! 
So it was dinner out for all of us that night! 
The following day Panta had off... he had several walks in hand (there was no hand grazing)  but we decided to get off the compound for a while and ventured into Tryon itself. What a cute place... totally horse orientated and such friendly people. Regine had the largest banana split I ever saw!! One of the overriding memories of this trip will be just how friendly all the people in the area were... from our air BNB host to every waitress, security guard, food tent assistant, they all were just so welcoming! 
And speaking of our air BNB host who looked like a real hillbilly but was so sweet!  Our little house was super - a shame it was a good 40 minutes drive away from WEG but was the best I could find that was affordable. It had great little personal touches - fresh flowers - lovely furnishings -  a better equipped kitchen than my own (OK - thats not difficult!) and a hot tub no less!!
And so to the final days - and we got to see such great sport including the final days of the para dressage and Sophie Wells' just brilliant freestyle for yet another world record!!  The showing jumping team final was crazy exciting and then the individual - right up to the line with the German girl totally keeping her cool - what a great  horse - what a great team - very privileged to see that in person - awesome!!  But the final excitement was left for the driving. Although watching some of the earlier competitors we realised that we had been a bit spoiled by adrenaline of the scurry classes at the HOYS etc but getting down to the last couple of teams of 4 horses navigating through the most complicated set of cones I have ever seen was amazing - and the winner was truly a class act!!  There was no real closing ceremony... maybe everyone had just run out of steam - it was still excruciatingly hot & humid but we all left having felt that we had witnessed some truly amazing sport!!
I had ridden Panta a couple days after our competition and also lunged him to keep him exercised and supple without over exerting him before his long flight home. His flight was due to board the lorries to the airport the following day at 7 a.m. but the flight - for some reason - was delayed by 12 hours. That meant that we would not be there to see him onto the lorry unfortunately as we all had to catch flights that afternoon ourselves. Luckily the Latvian horse was not leaving till the following day and Angela made up feeds and hay for Panta to see him through the day for the groom to give him  and the Pedens team would load him on to the lorry for us - I left my buckets so he had plenty of water and then had to say our sad goodbyes to Panta. 
It was an eventful WEG - full of dramas.. well it wouldn't be horses if it didn't would it - lets be honest!! But no mistaking the fact that I could have not ridden down that centre line without all the support from such a great crowd of people behind me! It hasn't been easy with no 'official' sponsors but there have been so many who have donated their time, expertise, time, facilities, time, horse, time, money , time, time, time  .... and as we all know - time is money! 
So it has been a blast... and who knows where we go from here.
Much love xxx
 

The first part of our road to WEG....  Rachel and I drove Panta across the channel (via the ferry of course!)  and on to Liege Airport for the first leg of our journey to North Carolina and the World Equestrian Games!!  Panta travelled really well just as expected - stabled over night at the airport with the other horses travelling on his flight - and the next morning boarded his plane like a seasoned pro heading to the USA!! The whole procedure took a fair time and we were pleased that he was one of the last few horses to be loaded into the crates for the plane. The groom for his travelling companion was going to be on the flight so I knew he would be especially well looked after.  I flew out the next day and made it to the opening ceremony in the nick of time thanks to Clive Milkins and the Canadian team giving me a lift from Charlotte airport to TIEC.... changed in the car and carried the USVI flag proudly at the opening ceremony!!  Phew.. we'd made it!!
Once at WEG there was lots to see... we managed to watch top dressage riders vying for medals, the reining "bipolar ponies" (apologies - inside joke...) eventing dressage & cross country,  still maintaining our planned training schedule which was kept light in view of the travel etc. Meanwhile the weather was becoming a talking point  and we were being kept advised of...a hurricane no less ... by an excruciating alert coming through my phone through the GPS minute by minute!! Ear shattering - and only added to the heightening concern. (Unbelievably I had the same thing here on Saturday morning in  Redhill albeit not about a hurricane!!
No one knew exactly how bad it would be so Angela slept in the stable next to Panta which was doubling as our tack/feed room. Many of the grooms did the same, including Canada and GB who shared our barn. The next day was very wet - the fragile, newly laid infrastructure didn't cope entirely but on the whole it was not as bad as everyone expected... the sandbags at the entrance to the barns had helped! 
A lot of rain was forecast and the organisers took the decision to cancel the competitions on the Sunday.  The eventing show jumping could be moved to the Monday - originally a rest day for all - but sadly the dressage freestyle was cancelled altogether as the horses were flying back to Europe on Monday. I can't imagine how disappointing that was for all concerned especially when the rain in the end was no worse than an average July downpour in England.  Still - once they had made the decision it had to stand....
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